In describing the type of experience one expects from a “personal service provier (PSP),” I often come upon the acronyms GFE (Girlfriend experience) and PSE (Porn star experience). I wonder: What exactly does this mean? What does it connote? Why make the distinction? For example, standard fare for a porn star is to give fellatio; thus, girlfriends are not expected to give blowjobs?

And do those that claim PSE actually perform like a porn star? I know that porn stars perform a wide range of services–fisting and anal, for example–does that mean that PSPs who make such a claim will actually do these? Ok, maybe anal and fisting are a bit extreme (some however, may disagree, but please allow me that leeway), but what about facials and come-in-mouth?

Okay, in reality, I have (or, at least I think I had) experienced a PSE. I don’t think it has to do with the range of services; it’s in the way the PSP performs even the most basic sexual act. A GFE will be a more sweet, demure, conversational episode. A PSE will be more wanton and beastly.

Take the simple and trite missionary position: a PSP claiming GFE will probably give you sugary encouragement as you are mounting her. It is like enjoying fine wine with soft jazz piping through the speakers. A PSP with the PSE on her curriculum vitae will probably groan out all sorts of profanities, will stare at you with fiery hot passion, will purse her lips and bite her lips, and will show you a “come-and-fuck-me” expression on her face, akin to gulping down hard liquor with acid rock blaring.

Now that I finally have some time to spare, I thought I would give a crack at the controversial Reproductive Health Bill Act. Thanks to Buwayahman reader dgreat who provided a link to the document.

While I am no lawyer, I have a range of comments on this Bill. And I have a wider range of comments on the people who are commenting against this Bill. But, for starters, let me get the abortion thing out of the way. There is no mention that the Bill explicitly supports abortion. And by abortion I mean the situation when a pregnant woman goes to some doctor to have her pregnancy terminated. You probably know the drill. Man and woman do the nasty. Woman’s period is delayed. Woman buys a pregnancy kit and conducts the test. Woman finds out that she’s pregnant. Woman goes to a doctor and asks for an abortion.

Let me make it clear. There is no mention that the Bill supports this kind of abortion. There is no mention of abortion clinics. No mention of doctors prescribing an abortion pill. None. Although it does not also explicitly condemn abortion, I believe that would be a moot topic since the Philippine Constitution in sec. 12, Art. II already includes the provision that the State should “protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.”

So what is the ruckus about?

Apparently a number of people have another definition of “abortion.” Jo Imbong from Inquirer argues this:

The zygote not yet in the mother’s womb is not protected. Pills and the IUD hinder implantation of the embryo in the uterus, thereby precipitating the embryo’s destruction. That is abortion.

Okay, that seems to be a logical argument. But family planning methods are not limited to pills and IUDs. There is my all-time favorite: condoms. Condoms prevent my little tadpoles from meeting up with the woman’s egg. No meeting. No zygote. No conception. No “abortion” by Imbong’s definition.

Unfortunately, Lagman included in his bill the support of “the full range of family planning methods both natural family planning and modem contraceptive methods (e.g., condoms, vaginal barrier methods, oral contraceptives, implants, intrauterine devices, male and female voluntary sterilization, and emergency contraception (EC).” One can argue that once the egg is fertilized, the child is conceived, so any instrument that prevents that fertilized egg to continue its natural course is abortion.

In my opinion, the Bill had grand ambitions but over-stepped its bounds. If Lagman stuck to condoms and vaginal barrier methods, I would think that, legally, he had a chance.

There are popular urban tales about the size of a man’s member. And I found an interesting article on several studies that debunk (or confirm) these urban tales.

If you are lazy to read through the article, here are a few items that I found fascinating.

According to a 2002 study conducted at the University College London, there is no scientific support for the relationship between the shoe size and length of penis.

Researchers at University of Alberta found that body height and foot length were only “weakly” correlated with the size of their penis and that “height and foot size would not serve as practical estimators of penis length.” However, there are two studies (a 2001 Italian study, conducted among 3,300 young men; and a 2007 International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007 among 1,500 men) that found a correlation between height and penis dimensions.

And another: In 2002, a group of Greek researchers found that age and body characteristics were not associated with size of penis except for the “index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched penis.” Another study involving 1,500 men also found that found that length of index finger was significantly correlated with penis dimensions.

One reader commented that I must be an ugly man because I can’t charm a woman. Another tried to lend his pseudo-intellectualism by saying that I must be a jerk because I pay P5,000 for something I can get for free. Be that as it may, it still underscores the fact that I need sex without having to go through the effort of seducing a woman. The reality is I go to PSPs for the simple reason that I need to get laid with as little complications as possible.

I wonder what is the financial comparison between charming a woman and paying a PSP to have sex with you. Charming a woman involves at least a drink plus several hours of conversation. Well, at least for me it will take several hours; I haven’t met anyone who can get a girl to go to bed with him in 30 minutes or less. My success in one-try pickups is dismally low, which means I have to call or SMS the girl a number of times. When I look back at my attempts, the sex typically happens after the third “date,” with each “date” consisting of a minimum of three bottles of beer between the both of us, sometimes six bottles of beer, plus the usual pica-pica. Then, when I am successful, it usually happens in the wee hours of the morning, like 2 am or 3 am, and I worry if I won’t be able to bring her to her doorstep, which means that there is the drive to her house. I stay in the Makati area and the worst situation that I had encountered was that I had to bring home a girl all the way to Bulacan.

Then there is the emotional baggage. Some women do get enamored and they begin calling you. Sometimes they call in most inopportune times. Somehow, the experience of swapping bodily fluids seem to make some women believe that they are beholden to you. Or that you are now beholden to them.

One reader gave one of the, if not the best reason on why I go to PSPs. I spend money not to be with them, but to make sure they leave after the deed is done.

I went to KTV and engaged the services of a GRO named Jam. She was bubbly, lively, talkative, and…well…too much of bragger. She kept on reminding me that she has been all over to Asia—Hongkong, Japan, Singapore, to name a few. Big deal, I said to myself. So have I.

Actually, there was another GRO that had caught my eye in the showroom. Her name was Winona but the GRM mentioned that Jam was better because Winona had only joined a few weeks ago and was still relatively shy and reserved. I wanted someone who would pamper me, paw all over me, and smother me with attention. Plus, of course, she had to be “game.”

And yes, Jam was “game.” But she was hardly the pampering type. The GRM probably advised her of my intentions, because 15 minutes after she sat down, she asked the question, point-blank: “So do you want to have sex?”

And that was a turn-off.

She reasoned that it was best to put things out in the open to make sure that there is no misunderstanding. And this I found strange because once a girl starts kissing me, touching me, sitting on my lap, and grinding her hips on my groin, and once my dick gets rock-hard, there is no mistaking my intentions.

“How much did Marie (the GRM) mention?” she asked.

I shrugged. “How much do you want?” I figured that she may quote a lesser amount. And if she quoted a higher amount, then I can tell her the amount that Marie quoted.

She held her palm up and spread her five fingers:P5,000. Which was the amount that Marie quoted.

But I refused. The cold, business-like approach did not sit well with me. I came to be pampered. I did not go there to engage in a formal business discussion. I finished my bottle of San Mig Light and promptly asked for the bill. I left her no tip. And I did not leave Marie any tip either. Read the rest of this entry »

I received this through email some time back.

I do not condone the fact though, that you have refused to be seed [sic] by anybody else. hahaha, are you afraid of being exposed for who you really are. Well as far as I am concerned, I hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public and be friends with them or even face me and share a cuy [sic] of coffee with me.Well, honestly, if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amoung [sic] to anything but one big bag of air. So whyd [sic] dont you meet up with some of the group, show us who you really are. Don’t worry, we had the same fears before but we overcame them and in the process our pre-set notions about each other disappeared and we became friends like lost kindred spirits we fell for each other’s compnay [sic] lokking [sic] for companionship and looking for salvation. I am not asking you to be my friend, but I am requesting you that should you care to criticize me, why dont you come out in the open and look me in the eye so you can have a clear look at your subject. It is more objective that way. Don’t you think so, but unless you do that, I am afraid that you will remain but one of those guys who kept on bashing in the dark, oblivious of the truth. hahahahah.

I am not being personal dude, just being passionate about how I truly feel of those who retain the anonymity of the web and yet crosses over the real world to snipe at real peop0le.

I hope you don’t take this in the wrong way and frankly i am not expecting you to show up anywhere near me, I just hope ur not the next guy on the tee with me hahah.

My, my, someone seems too overly sensitive about my opinion. The person who sent this email is a member of one of those Philippine adult-themed forums that are proliferating the internet. Perhaps it was the post on sharing PSPs or the post on sharing FUBUs that got him all riled up. It’s hilarious how people say that “it is not personal” but they make judgemental statements like “i hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public” and “if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amount to anything but one big bag of air.”

Anyway, like I would care….

Is it an act of cowardice if I choose not to attend any forum’s “eyeball” sessions or “meet-and-greet” gatherings?

Am I less credible if I don’t reveal my identity?

But I guess the more interesting question is: what’s wrong with anonymity?

Here’s the thing: personal information is exactly that–PERSONAL. It is my choice to divulge personal information, and I only do so if there is some value in revealing that information. In my younger, neophyte days, I was chastised by a colleague because I revealed where we both worked to a few ladies. “You didn’t have to give that info,” he said. “It’s a plus for them and a minus for you.”

A lot can go wrong if you divulge your personal information to a stranger. For one, that person can incessantly attempt to contact you. Even if the person means no harm, he or she may also lack some basic courtesy and call you at odd times. And it does become a bother—not to mention, an irritant—to whip out your cell phone, especially during an important meeting, only to find out that it is a call from someone not worth talking to.

So in some sense, people are correct in claiming that I am “hiding.” And it’s because I have something valuable to hide. You don’t flaunt your money out in public, do you?

And here’s another thing: if someone does not believe me based on the posts I write, then I don’t think revealing my identity will matter. If someone thinks that my insights are worthless or unbelievably incredible, I don’t think that the person will suddenly have a change of heart after seeing me. “Wow, he’s actually shorter and uglier than I thought, he must be telling the truth!” I don’t know about you, dear readers, but in a free and intelligent exchange of ideas, a person’s identity for me is not as important as the idea he is putting on the table. For me, it doesn’t matter if the person is rich, comes from a good school, is handsome, has a good job, has many friends. If I think his ideas are crap, then I will call his ideas crap. And if he insists that a face-to-face meeting will convince me that his ideas are worth something, then he is digging himself deeper. It is not the person. It is the idea that matters.

There are a couple of sites I regularly visit because I find their ideas thought-provoking. I do not know any of the writers personally. I have not met any of them. But I respect their ideas. I don’t necessarily agree with their insights, but I respect it nonetheless. And I have grown to admire them.

And finally, a lot of these adult-themed forums can be populated by people who are boorish, proletarian, juvenile, pseudo-intellectual and immature where one small and innocent move can initiate an entire controversy, if not something akin to a World War. I shun from those anonymous “meet-and-greets” for the plain reason that I don’t want my picture in some compromising situation plastered all over the internet.

My FHM article on escorts was published in the June 2008 edition. That’s the one with Ehra Madrigal in the cover. If any of you get to read it, I would love to hear your comments.

A reader had commented on a post, basically saying that PSPs and the patronage of sites are immoral acts and are further contributing to the deterioration of society.

To which my response is: Who assigned YOU to be the moral police?

I asked a few people what acts to they consider as fundamentally immoral. They mentioned murder, rape, adultery, child abuse. I further inquired why such acts were immoral. They answered that these acts are immoral because they clearly infringe on the rights of others. In other words, there is clearly a victim in such acts.

But what about prostitution? Who is the victim in prostitution?

Is it the client? I don’t think so. He paid for a service and he received a service.

Is it the PSP? I also don’t think so. Unless coerced in the world of flesh trade, she has willingly and voluntarily chosen that way of life.

I know some moral pundits will say that the PSP is the victim because she had no choice and that poverty had forced her into that life. In that case, shouldn’t it be poverty then that should be considered immoral?

There is the stereo-typical PSP, the one that was scammed into the seedy world of prostitution, brought to the metropolitan with promises of wealth and comfort, only to discover that the bed she will lie on is not one of roses. We see this stereo-typical PSP in movies, books, TV shows, and sensationalistic news articles.

I, on the other hand, have experienced the PSPs of massage parlors, KTVs, and escorts. The great majority of them have consciously chosen that way of life. Yes, they are not proud of it. Yes, it’s a hard path to take. But it doesn’t make it immoral.

So I want to know: If one person finds prostitution immoral, what exactly makes it immoral? Please tell me who is being affected, whose rights are being violated, who is being hurt or who is being deceived.

I got this email a few days back:

I am paranoid because I think I have HIV. I had sex with a woman a month ago, and now I have a flu. I read in the internet that the first symptoms of HIV is similar to a flu. My question is, when you were young, was there a point in your life when you got paranoid? What did you do? And, did you ever have STD? Is it normal to have to if you have sex a lot? What did you do, and did you stop having sex with a lot of people? Thank you. I am 17 years old and very paranoid.

First of all, I have always been somewhat paranoid. I frequently imagine the worst case. And in a life of sex and pay-for-pleasure, one scenario that never fails to cause me dread is HIV. That is why I always bring and use a condom. I bring a condom when I meet an escort. I bring a condom when I go to a KTV.

When I am with a PSP, I refrain from any swapping of bodily fluids, which would mean no heavy kissing and no partying at the Y.

I also watch my health. Exercise for me is not just about improving and maintaining performance in bed, it’s the first defense against infections.

Hygiene is important to me. After the act, I always take a shower and I make sure that I throughly wash my privates. In a KTV, I always have those alcohol-laced tissues. A doctor-friend once advised me as well to pee after sex as the urine can flush out bacteria and other infectious agents.

My partner also has to be conscious of personal hygiene. If she isn’t, then alarm bells start ringing in my head. She has to look and smell clean.

And lastly, I have regular health checks.

As a result, I am in good health. I have no problems with blood pressure and cholesterol. And I never had an STD. I attribute this to good health, good hygiene, plus a good supply of condoms.

You have to admire this guy’s gall. He was married and having a mistress and lying to both at the same time! Actually, his excuses and tales of deceit are quite impressive. This should be considered essential reading for those married men who are considering to live a double-life.

Here are the lessons learned from Vice Adm. John “Boomer” Stufflebeem . . .

How to get sympathy and get laid all in the same night:

During a drinking version of Truth or Dare, he told her and a group of White House staffers that his wife had died years before of breast cancer. He later asked if he could come to her room to give her a back rub, and that night, they had sex for the first time.

The best excuse if the mistress calls and the wife answers:

She described another time when she called Stufflebeem’s home at Bolling Air Force Base because he was late for a date. She said Stufflebeem had told her that a “nanny” babysat his two daughters when he was away.

“So I called and talked to (his wife) and I asked where he was, and she said he was on an overnight training mission or something, so he did wind up coming to spend the night that night. I told him I called the house. He said, ‘Oh really? What did she say?’ And I just relayed the story and it all seemed, you know — it didn’t seem to make him nervous or anything at the time, looking back.”

Best excuse for wearing a wedding ring:

And when the woman saw Stufflebeem’s wedding band, he told her he wore it because his two daughters were overwhelmed by his wife’s death and did not want him to take it off.

Classic!