There are a number of escorts who mandate that their clients only come once. I, for one, avoid these escorts like STD. That is why I clarify first with either the handler or the escort herself. Multiple pops are important for me. I do lose control on a number of occasions, especially if the escort is drop-dead gorgeous. I can understand why massage parlor attendants only provide one pop: They are expected to perform when the next guest arrives. But escorts, especially the high-end ones, have control over the number of clients.

I can understand the shameful side of it, but a number of escorts have accepted their situation and have gone beyond shame and embarrassment in a way that can be described as apathetic. Some have already reached a point where they realized the inherent monetary value of their sexuality. No longer do they look at themselves as dehumanized sex objects; now they realize that they can use their eroticism as leverage. Want to fuck me? Sure, but get in line; another guy will fuck me for more money.

There is an anecdote among my officemates about Tony. Tony is our Marketing guy. Hi is a nice guy, funny to the point of being charming. He is known as a “player” in the sense that he frequents bars and KTVs.

But he is legendary for having “picked up” someone purporting to be a female, only to find out later, in the motel, that she was actually a he. The ongoing joke is that Tony’s biggest mistake was not that he picked up a man, but that he chose to tell the story to us.

When I think about it more and more, a more bizarre scenario begins to form in my imagination. For example, how did he discover his partner’s gender? And at what point in time? Normally, when you bring your partner inside a motel, all sorts of physical action takes place. Discovery of genitalia normally happens midway of the foreplay. There would normally be kissing, groping, pawing, sucking, licking. Undressing happens seductively. Sometimes even the “female” partner would commence some initial fellatio before removing “her” clothing. I’ve seen scenarios where a man inside a car would pick up a streetwalker and then, just a few meters after, would slam on the brakes and drop off (or, at times, visibly shove out) his would-be companion for the night. But inside a motel, the action would have already begun. And in fact, sometimes the action would begin inside the car even before the motel.

So how can you tell? There are, of course, the tell-tale signs. Bone structure. Throat. Size of wrist. Tone of voice. Sometimes, you can’t put your finger on it, but you just know that something doesn’t add up.

I had a recent trip to Thailand, where my team was treated to a show involving men playing women. It was held in a grand auditorium that looked more like a school stage than a sleazy bar. They danced gracefully. They lip-synced popular tunes. They even paraded in one-piece swimsuits. They had breasts. They had cleavages. Their skin was porcelain-smooth. They did not have that tell-tale lump. There was no visible bulge in their groin area. A friend of mine told me that there is some medication that can shrink and hide these physical manifestations. I swear that, unless you were actually told about their gender, you would hundred-percent mistake them as females.

“If you get an erection at this point,” I whispered to my colleague beside me, “does that make you gay?”

And especially with the advances in cosmetics and medicine, it is becoming more and more difficult to distinguish the real from the manufactured.

So what to do?

For one, I always let my instincts guide me. There are some who, through no fault of the girl, looks slightly male. I wouldn’t take that risk. If I even have an infinitesimal amount of doubt, I would rather not take the plunge. Besides, someone who looks even the slightest bit like a man is not my type.

In reality, the chance of discovering that she is a he is a risk that will always be present. Dealing with strangers is always a risk. There is the risk of disease. There is the risk of physical harm. All one can do is be prudent.

Let us say that you do discover that your companion for the night is—oh, the horror!—a man. Yes, you can probably blame the handler but, sometimes, they too may not be able to tell. Remember, some handlers do not “sample” their lineup. At best, inform your handler. And then check back on his lineup. If the she-male is still there, then there is something to be said about the handler. Time to drop that handler from your short list.

And then, most important of all, don’t tell your officemates.

The Couples for Christ (CFC) has posted an questionnaire/advertisement on the controversial RH 5043, with the position that if one answered “NO” to one of the questions, then he or she should lobby against the controversial bill.

It was clear that CFC has a slant against sex education. They probably believe that sex education promotes promiscuity. I have a different belief: sex education and promiscuity are not related in a cause-and-effect way. At least, not in the way CFC thinks. If there is ever a cause-and-effect relationship, it may be the other way—promiscuity may, in reality, require sex education. That we will all become aware of our sexuality and become sexually active is a given. Sex education is as natural and inevitable as toilet training.

Which leads me to the next question: If sex education is a given, then who is the best person to teach our youth? The knee-jerk reaction is that our parents should hold that responsibility. I tend to agree, except that these parents, lacking the necessary tools, may not be knowledgeable of the best teaching methods. They also may not have the time. We may all know basic math, but do we all know how to teach it? Do we know how to explain basic principles like the Law of Transitivity? Or demonstrate a keen understanding of Geometry? Do we know when a child is ready for two-digit multiplication? Or when a child is capable of understanding what two minus seven is?

Those who know me know that I am for sex education and family planning. I am for condoms. I am for responsible sexuality. So those who know me can already guess what I will answer.

But to those who may wish to debate and discuss and argue, here are the questions and my answers….

1. Do you agree that our children be given Sex Education for 7 years starting from grade 5?

Yes I do. What’s wrong with teaching our children on how babies are made? It does not have to be graphic erotica. A straight-forward, unemotional, objective, rational approach could be used. Children that age (if not earlier) are already conscious of their sexual organs. Why not explain what they are used for?

2. Do you agree that the Population Commission develop the modules to form our children’s attitudes, beliefs, and values about sex, sexual identity, sexual behavior, sexual health ad gender roles?

Yes I do. Bear in mind that, according to Section 3, letter n, the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM shall consist of the heads of the following agencies:

1. National Economic DevelopmentAuthority (VEDA)

2. Department of Health (DOH)

3. Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)

4. Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)

5. Department of Agriculture (DA)

6. Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG)

7. Department of Education (DepEd)

8. Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR)

9. Commission on Higher Education (CHED)

10. University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI)

11. Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAFI)

12. National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPQ)

13. National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)

14. National Youth Commission (NYC)

Plus, there shall be three private sector representatives to the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM who shall come from NGOs. There shall be one (1) representative each from women, youth and health sectors who have a proven track record of involvement in the promotion of reproductive health.

My main worry with this is that the group, with its size, could get unwieldy.

3. Do you agree that the Population Commission teach our children the distinction between facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

Definitely yes. But this question is a strange one. Is this question focusing on the POPCOM or on whether or not we should teach about facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

If it is the former, then is CFC questioning the capability of the POPCOM? Check the composition of POPCOM in my aforementioned answer. It may not be the best composition, but it represents a lot of sectors and should be more knowledgeable than, say, the Church or even a lot of poor parents who have not obtained a decent education.

If it is the latter, then is the CFC basically promoting ignorance?

4. Do you agree that our children be taught Sex Education as a class, notwithstanding the different stages and readiness each child has to receive such sensitive information?

Yes. The issue is not whether or not it should be taught as a group, but rather the quality of the teaching and communication materials. A team of child psychologists should be able to develop the appropriate materials.

5. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, be taught that it is their right to have a satisfying and “safe” sex life?

Yes. Reading through section 12, I don’t see that the bill is promoting a promiscuous lifestyle. What will be in the list of sex-education concepts include abstinence before marriage, hazards of abortion, responsible parenthood, and responsible sexuality. It appears to me that the bill is promoting choice rather than dogma. If a teen-ager wishes to remain a virgin until marriage, that is his or her choice.

6. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, learn the use and application of family planning methods?

Yes. Some youths are already having sex as early as age 10.

7. Do you agree that our children’s moral and religious beliefs regarding sensitive issues like abortion be challenged and discussed in the classroom apart from the guidance of parents?

Yes. First of all, I don’t think the parents are left out in this process. Section 12 does specify that “in support of the natural, and primary right of parents in the rearing of the youth, the POPCOM shall provide concerned parents with adequate and relevant scientific materials on the age-appropriate topics and manner of teaching reproductive health education to their children.”

Second, I am of the opinion that beliefs should always be challenged and discussed. Religious beliefs are not exempt from discussion and debate. Take one example, albeit extreme just to emphasize a point, of a religion that advocates terrorism. Wouldn’t you make an effort to dissuade its flock? Or would you argue that we should respect their beliefs and remain silent?

If you disagree with my points, feel free to leave comments. I promise I will not resort to any ad hominem attacks.