The Couples for Christ (CFC) has posted an questionnaire/advertisement on the controversial RH 5043, with the position that if one answered “NO” to one of the questions, then he or she should lobby against the controversial bill.

It was clear that CFC has a slant against sex education. They probably believe that sex education promotes promiscuity. I have a different belief: sex education and promiscuity are not related in a cause-and-effect way. At least, not in the way CFC thinks. If there is ever a cause-and-effect relationship, it may be the other way—promiscuity may, in reality, require sex education. That we will all become aware of our sexuality and become sexually active is a given. Sex education is as natural and inevitable as toilet training.

Which leads me to the next question: If sex education is a given, then who is the best person to teach our youth? The knee-jerk reaction is that our parents should hold that responsibility. I tend to agree, except that these parents, lacking the necessary tools, may not be knowledgeable of the best teaching methods. They also may not have the time. We may all know basic math, but do we all know how to teach it? Do we know how to explain basic principles like the Law of Transitivity? Or demonstrate a keen understanding of Geometry? Do we know when a child is ready for two-digit multiplication? Or when a child is capable of understanding what two minus seven is?

Those who know me know that I am for sex education and family planning. I am for condoms. I am for responsible sexuality. So those who know me can already guess what I will answer.

But to those who may wish to debate and discuss and argue, here are the questions and my answers….

1. Do you agree that our children be given Sex Education for 7 years starting from grade 5?

Yes I do. What’s wrong with teaching our children on how babies are made? It does not have to be graphic erotica. A straight-forward, unemotional, objective, rational approach could be used. Children that age (if not earlier) are already conscious of their sexual organs. Why not explain what they are used for?

2. Do you agree that the Population Commission develop the modules to form our children’s attitudes, beliefs, and values about sex, sexual identity, sexual behavior, sexual health ad gender roles?

Yes I do. Bear in mind that, according to Section 3, letter n, the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM shall consist of the heads of the following agencies:

1. National Economic DevelopmentAuthority (VEDA)

2. Department of Health (DOH)

3. Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)

4. Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)

5. Department of Agriculture (DA)

6. Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG)

7. Department of Education (DepEd)

8. Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR)

9. Commission on Higher Education (CHED)

10. University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI)

11. Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAFI)

12. National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPQ)

13. National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)

14. National Youth Commission (NYC)

Plus, there shall be three private sector representatives to the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM who shall come from NGOs. There shall be one (1) representative each from women, youth and health sectors who have a proven track record of involvement in the promotion of reproductive health.

My main worry with this is that the group, with its size, could get unwieldy.

3. Do you agree that the Population Commission teach our children the distinction between facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

Definitely yes. But this question is a strange one. Is this question focusing on the POPCOM or on whether or not we should teach about facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

If it is the former, then is CFC questioning the capability of the POPCOM? Check the composition of POPCOM in my aforementioned answer. It may not be the best composition, but it represents a lot of sectors and should be more knowledgeable than, say, the Church or even a lot of poor parents who have not obtained a decent education.

If it is the latter, then is the CFC basically promoting ignorance?

4. Do you agree that our children be taught Sex Education as a class, notwithstanding the different stages and readiness each child has to receive such sensitive information?

Yes. The issue is not whether or not it should be taught as a group, but rather the quality of the teaching and communication materials. A team of child psychologists should be able to develop the appropriate materials.

5. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, be taught that it is their right to have a satisfying and “safe” sex life?

Yes. Reading through section 12, I don’t see that the bill is promoting a promiscuous lifestyle. What will be in the list of sex-education concepts include abstinence before marriage, hazards of abortion, responsible parenthood, and responsible sexuality. It appears to me that the bill is promoting choice rather than dogma. If a teen-ager wishes to remain a virgin until marriage, that is his or her choice.

6. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, learn the use and application of family planning methods?

Yes. Some youths are already having sex as early as age 10.

7. Do you agree that our children’s moral and religious beliefs regarding sensitive issues like abortion be challenged and discussed in the classroom apart from the guidance of parents?

Yes. First of all, I don’t think the parents are left out in this process. Section 12 does specify that “in support of the natural, and primary right of parents in the rearing of the youth, the POPCOM shall provide concerned parents with adequate and relevant scientific materials on the age-appropriate topics and manner of teaching reproductive health education to their children.”

Second, I am of the opinion that beliefs should always be challenged and discussed. Religious beliefs are not exempt from discussion and debate. Take one example, albeit extreme just to emphasize a point, of a religion that advocates terrorism. Wouldn’t you make an effort to dissuade its flock? Or would you argue that we should respect their beliefs and remain silent?

If you disagree with my points, feel free to leave comments. I promise I will not resort to any ad hominem attacks.

In describing the type of experience one expects from a “personal service provier (PSP),” I often come upon the acronyms GFE (Girlfriend experience) and PSE (Porn star experience). I wonder: What exactly does this mean? What does it connote? Why make the distinction? For example, standard fare for a porn star is to give fellatio; thus, girlfriends are not expected to give blowjobs?

And do those that claim PSE actually perform like a porn star? I know that porn stars perform a wide range of services–fisting and anal, for example–does that mean that PSPs who make such a claim will actually do these? Ok, maybe anal and fisting are a bit extreme (some however, may disagree, but please allow me that leeway), but what about facials and come-in-mouth?

Okay, in reality, I have (or, at least I think I had) experienced a PSE. I don’t think it has to do with the range of services; it’s in the way the PSP performs even the most basic sexual act. A GFE will be a more sweet, demure, conversational episode. A PSE will be more wanton and beastly.

Take the simple and trite missionary position: a PSP claiming GFE will probably give you sugary encouragement as you are mounting her. It is like enjoying fine wine with soft jazz piping through the speakers. A PSP with the PSE on her curriculum vitae will probably groan out all sorts of profanities, will stare at you with fiery hot passion, will purse her lips and bite her lips, and will show you a “come-and-fuck-me” expression on her face, akin to gulping down hard liquor with acid rock blaring.

There are popular urban tales about the size of a man’s member. And I found an interesting article on several studies that debunk (or confirm) these urban tales.

If you are lazy to read through the article, here are a few items that I found fascinating.

According to a 2002 study conducted at the University College London, there is no scientific support for the relationship between the shoe size and length of penis.

Researchers at University of Alberta found that body height and foot length were only “weakly” correlated with the size of their penis and that “height and foot size would not serve as practical estimators of penis length.” However, there are two studies (a 2001 Italian study, conducted among 3,300 young men; and a 2007 International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007 among 1,500 men) that found a correlation between height and penis dimensions.

And another: In 2002, a group of Greek researchers found that age and body characteristics were not associated with size of penis except for the “index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched penis.” Another study involving 1,500 men also found that found that length of index finger was significantly correlated with penis dimensions.

One reader commented that I must be an ugly man because I can’t charm a woman. Another tried to lend his pseudo-intellectualism by saying that I must be a jerk because I pay P5,000 for something I can get for free. Be that as it may, it still underscores the fact that I need sex without having to go through the effort of seducing a woman. The reality is I go to PSPs for the simple reason that I need to get laid with as little complications as possible.

I wonder what is the financial comparison between charming a woman and paying a PSP to have sex with you. Charming a woman involves at least a drink plus several hours of conversation. Well, at least for me it will take several hours; I haven’t met anyone who can get a girl to go to bed with him in 30 minutes or less. My success in one-try pickups is dismally low, which means I have to call or SMS the girl a number of times. When I look back at my attempts, the sex typically happens after the third “date,” with each “date” consisting of a minimum of three bottles of beer between the both of us, sometimes six bottles of beer, plus the usual pica-pica. Then, when I am successful, it usually happens in the wee hours of the morning, like 2 am or 3 am, and I worry if I won’t be able to bring her to her doorstep, which means that there is the drive to her house. I stay in the Makati area and the worst situation that I had encountered was that I had to bring home a girl all the way to Bulacan.

Then there is the emotional baggage. Some women do get enamored and they begin calling you. Sometimes they call in most inopportune times. Somehow, the experience of swapping bodily fluids seem to make some women believe that they are beholden to you. Or that you are now beholden to them.

One reader gave one of the, if not the best reason on why I go to PSPs. I spend money not to be with them, but to make sure they leave after the deed is done.

You have to admire this guy’s gall. He was married and having a mistress and lying to both at the same time! Actually, his excuses and tales of deceit are quite impressive. This should be considered essential reading for those married men who are considering to live a double-life.

Here are the lessons learned from Vice Adm. John “Boomer” Stufflebeem . . .

How to get sympathy and get laid all in the same night:

During a drinking version of Truth or Dare, he told her and a group of White House staffers that his wife had died years before of breast cancer. He later asked if he could come to her room to give her a back rub, and that night, they had sex for the first time.

The best excuse if the mistress calls and the wife answers:

She described another time when she called Stufflebeem’s home at Bolling Air Force Base because he was late for a date. She said Stufflebeem had told her that a “nanny” babysat his two daughters when he was away.

“So I called and talked to (his wife) and I asked where he was, and she said he was on an overnight training mission or something, so he did wind up coming to spend the night that night. I told him I called the house. He said, ‘Oh really? What did she say?’ And I just relayed the story and it all seemed, you know — it didn’t seem to make him nervous or anything at the time, looking back.”

Best excuse for wearing a wedding ring:

And when the woman saw Stufflebeem’s wedding band, he told her he wore it because his two daughters were overwhelmed by his wife’s death and did not want him to take it off.

Classic!

There are times when a girl is shy and demure at first. Then she gets drunk. At that state she begins to exhibit wild, wanton behaviour. She paws at me. And sometimes I wonder what triggers such behavior: Is it really her or just the alcohol?

From the NY Times:

In a series of studies in the 1970s and ’80s, psychologists at the University of Washington put more than 300 students into a study room outfitted like a bar with mirrors, music and a stretch of polished pine. The researchers served alcoholic drinks, most often icy vodka tonics, to some of the students and nonalcoholic ones, usually icy tonic water, to others. The drinks looked and tasted the same, and the students typically drank five in an hour or two.The studies found that people who thought they were drinking alcohol behaved exactly as aggressively, or as affectionately, or as merrily as they expected to when drunk. “No significant difference between those who got alcohol and those who didn’t,” Alan Marlatt, the senior author, said. “Their behavior was totally determined by their expectations of how they would behave.”

In a repeat of the session performed for a coming documentary, one participant insisted that she could not have been drinking because alcohol always made her flush.

“We told her that, yes, in fact she was drinking it,” Dr. Marlatt said. “She immediately flushed.”

I find this quite fascinating. It may not be the alcohol but the perception that she was drinking alcohol. If she went all-out raunchy, could she claim alcohol as an excuse? It would be an interesting experiment to serve just mere tonic water and see what happens….

One needs to be in good health to enjoy and give good sex. Case in point: A recent rendezvous with a fubu proved to be a marathon session. She had just moved into a new condo unit and she wanted a proper “blessing.” She had ordered a few plates of Japanese sushi and, to my surprise, a bag-full of balut. I brought the Chilean Gato Negro and two goblets. I always like a touch of romance before the romp.The whole occasion was long-winded. It probably lasted for an hour and it involved multiple positions in multiple locations. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the lack of blood coursing through my brain (it was somewhere else, if you know what I mean), but I vaguely remember the sequence of events. I know we started in the bathroom where we showered together but things became hazy after that point. I know it entailed the kitchen table, the dresser, the couch, the wall and, of course, the bed. I remember stopping a number of times to regain control and delay the inevitable, but I also remember carrying her from point to point, shifting positions, her legs still wrapped around me, me still inside her. My partner is much taller than me and by no means a light-weight.As I lay on her bed the next morning, I took the time to review the subtle aches and pains I was feeling. I had stiffness in my traps, my triceps, and my hips. But aside from that I was ok. I am no longer a young man—white hair has begun to spring forth everywhere that hair springs forth—but I am glad that I made some effort to keep in shape. I haven’t been to the gym in several months— I made a mental note to sign up as soon as possible—but I did continue a basic exercise regiment, even at home.One need not go to a gym to be physically ready for sex. One does not even have to procure a set of weights or a multi-exercise apparatus. With just your body weight and a couple of cheap stuff, the comforts of your own home and of your own room should be adequate.If there is one exercise that is absolutely essential, it is the push-up. The reason I say this is because it mimics the missionary position, which I have found is the position that best gets my partner into an orgasm. So the longer you can support yourself with your arms, the better for you and your partner. Another reason why pushups are vaulable is because I realized that women, in the missionary position as well as in the girl-on-top position, like to hold a man’s chest. When I am on top of her, she runs her hand down my triceps and grips it tight during orgasms.Find push-ups boring? Too easy? Try elevating your legs atop a chair to shift more weight down to your torso. Or try doing it one-handed. Or try bringing your hands closer together.For more of my exercise routines, you can check out this post.

This is required reading by all woman who are in a relationship with men. Don’t be drawn away by the title. It doesn’t just apply to married women. It applies to all women who want to keep their man.

Read it. Print it. Tack it on your door. Write it as an SMS and store it on your phone.

I have a number of failed relationships and to this day, I consider myself blameless for the break up. I just wish many of my partners had read this article.

For example, those who complain that we always hang out with the boys should read secret #2 (”We actually do play golf to get away from you”). Or those who complain about us burning the midnight oil at work should read secret #4 (”Earning money makes us feel important”).

But secret #11 is the money shot. This is the cardinal rule that ALL women should adhere to. Give us an inch and we’ll give you a lifetime.

In many forums that I have visited, one question or topic always pops up. It is on falling in love with a “personal service provider.”

I don’t really blame people for falling for a PSP. It’s not that difficult or far-fetched, especially when the PSP is good in listening, pampering, serving, and—of course—screwing.

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Well, according to Psychology Today, yes, men are hard-wired to stray. Not only that, but evolutionary pscyhologists also claim that women actually benefit from polygyny and that it is natural for powerful politicians to have a mistress. Their claims may seem politically-incorrect, immoral, or offensive—but they could be true.

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