The Couples for Christ (CFC) has posted an questionnaire/advertisement on the controversial RH 5043, with the position that if one answered “NO” to one of the questions, then he or she should lobby against the controversial bill.

It was clear that CFC has a slant against sex education. They probably believe that sex education promotes promiscuity. I have a different belief: sex education and promiscuity are not related in a cause-and-effect way. At least, not in the way CFC thinks. If there is ever a cause-and-effect relationship, it may be the other way—promiscuity may, in reality, require sex education. That we will all become aware of our sexuality and become sexually active is a given. Sex education is as natural and inevitable as toilet training.

Which leads me to the next question: If sex education is a given, then who is the best person to teach our youth? The knee-jerk reaction is that our parents should hold that responsibility. I tend to agree, except that these parents, lacking the necessary tools, may not be knowledgeable of the best teaching methods. They also may not have the time. We may all know basic math, but do we all know how to teach it? Do we know how to explain basic principles like the Law of Transitivity? Or demonstrate a keen understanding of Geometry? Do we know when a child is ready for two-digit multiplication? Or when a child is capable of understanding what two minus seven is?

Those who know me know that I am for sex education and family planning. I am for condoms. I am for responsible sexuality. So those who know me can already guess what I will answer.

But to those who may wish to debate and discuss and argue, here are the questions and my answers….

1. Do you agree that our children be given Sex Education for 7 years starting from grade 5?

Yes I do. What’s wrong with teaching our children on how babies are made? It does not have to be graphic erotica. A straight-forward, unemotional, objective, rational approach could be used. Children that age (if not earlier) are already conscious of their sexual organs. Why not explain what they are used for?

2. Do you agree that the Population Commission develop the modules to form our children’s attitudes, beliefs, and values about sex, sexual identity, sexual behavior, sexual health ad gender roles?

Yes I do. Bear in mind that, according to Section 3, letter n, the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM shall consist of the heads of the following agencies:

1. National Economic DevelopmentAuthority (VEDA)

2. Department of Health (DOH)

3. Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)

4. Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)

5. Department of Agriculture (DA)

6. Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG)

7. Department of Education (DepEd)

8. Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR)

9. Commission on Higher Education (CHED)

10. University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI)

11. Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAFI)

12. National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPQ)

13. National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)

14. National Youth Commission (NYC)

Plus, there shall be three private sector representatives to the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM who shall come from NGOs. There shall be one (1) representative each from women, youth and health sectors who have a proven track record of involvement in the promotion of reproductive health.

My main worry with this is that the group, with its size, could get unwieldy.

3. Do you agree that the Population Commission teach our children the distinction between facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

Definitely yes. But this question is a strange one. Is this question focusing on the POPCOM or on whether or not we should teach about facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

If it is the former, then is CFC questioning the capability of the POPCOM? Check the composition of POPCOM in my aforementioned answer. It may not be the best composition, but it represents a lot of sectors and should be more knowledgeable than, say, the Church or even a lot of poor parents who have not obtained a decent education.

If it is the latter, then is the CFC basically promoting ignorance?

4. Do you agree that our children be taught Sex Education as a class, notwithstanding the different stages and readiness each child has to receive such sensitive information?

Yes. The issue is not whether or not it should be taught as a group, but rather the quality of the teaching and communication materials. A team of child psychologists should be able to develop the appropriate materials.

5. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, be taught that it is their right to have a satisfying and “safe” sex life?

Yes. Reading through section 12, I don’t see that the bill is promoting a promiscuous lifestyle. What will be in the list of sex-education concepts include abstinence before marriage, hazards of abortion, responsible parenthood, and responsible sexuality. It appears to me that the bill is promoting choice rather than dogma. If a teen-ager wishes to remain a virgin until marriage, that is his or her choice.

6. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, learn the use and application of family planning methods?

Yes. Some youths are already having sex as early as age 10.

7. Do you agree that our children’s moral and religious beliefs regarding sensitive issues like abortion be challenged and discussed in the classroom apart from the guidance of parents?

Yes. First of all, I don’t think the parents are left out in this process. Section 12 does specify that “in support of the natural, and primary right of parents in the rearing of the youth, the POPCOM shall provide concerned parents with adequate and relevant scientific materials on the age-appropriate topics and manner of teaching reproductive health education to their children.”

Second, I am of the opinion that beliefs should always be challenged and discussed. Religious beliefs are not exempt from discussion and debate. Take one example, albeit extreme just to emphasize a point, of a religion that advocates terrorism. Wouldn’t you make an effort to dissuade its flock? Or would you argue that we should respect their beliefs and remain silent?

If you disagree with my points, feel free to leave comments. I promise I will not resort to any ad hominem attacks.

Now that I finally have some time to spare, I thought I would give a crack at the controversial Reproductive Health Bill Act. Thanks to Buwayahman reader dgreat who provided a link to the document.

While I am no lawyer, I have a range of comments on this Bill. And I have a wider range of comments on the people who are commenting against this Bill. But, for starters, let me get the abortion thing out of the way. There is no mention that the Bill explicitly supports abortion. And by abortion I mean the situation when a pregnant woman goes to some doctor to have her pregnancy terminated. You probably know the drill. Man and woman do the nasty. Woman’s period is delayed. Woman buys a pregnancy kit and conducts the test. Woman finds out that she’s pregnant. Woman goes to a doctor and asks for an abortion.

Let me make it clear. There is no mention that the Bill supports this kind of abortion. There is no mention of abortion clinics. No mention of doctors prescribing an abortion pill. None. Although it does not also explicitly condemn abortion, I believe that would be a moot topic since the Philippine Constitution in sec. 12, Art. II already includes the provision that the State should “protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.”

So what is the ruckus about?

Apparently a number of people have another definition of “abortion.” Jo Imbong from Inquirer argues this:

The zygote not yet in the mother’s womb is not protected. Pills and the IUD hinder implantation of the embryo in the uterus, thereby precipitating the embryo’s destruction. That is abortion.

Okay, that seems to be a logical argument. But family planning methods are not limited to pills and IUDs. There is my all-time favorite: condoms. Condoms prevent my little tadpoles from meeting up with the woman’s egg. No meeting. No zygote. No conception. No “abortion” by Imbong’s definition.

Unfortunately, Lagman included in his bill the support of “the full range of family planning methods both natural family planning and modem contraceptive methods (e.g., condoms, vaginal barrier methods, oral contraceptives, implants, intrauterine devices, male and female voluntary sterilization, and emergency contraception (EC).” One can argue that once the egg is fertilized, the child is conceived, so any instrument that prevents that fertilized egg to continue its natural course is abortion.

In my opinion, the Bill had grand ambitions but over-stepped its bounds. If Lagman stuck to condoms and vaginal barrier methods, I would think that, legally, he had a chance.

There are popular urban tales about the size of a man’s member. And I found an interesting article on several studies that debunk (or confirm) these urban tales.

If you are lazy to read through the article, here are a few items that I found fascinating.

According to a 2002 study conducted at the University College London, there is no scientific support for the relationship between the shoe size and length of penis.

Researchers at University of Alberta found that body height and foot length were only “weakly” correlated with the size of their penis and that “height and foot size would not serve as practical estimators of penis length.” However, there are two studies (a 2001 Italian study, conducted among 3,300 young men; and a 2007 International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007 among 1,500 men) that found a correlation between height and penis dimensions.

And another: In 2002, a group of Greek researchers found that age and body characteristics were not associated with size of penis except for the “index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched penis.” Another study involving 1,500 men also found that found that length of index finger was significantly correlated with penis dimensions.

I received this through email some time back.

I do not condone the fact though, that you have refused to be seed [sic] by anybody else. hahaha, are you afraid of being exposed for who you really are. Well as far as I am concerned, I hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public and be friends with them or even face me and share a cuy [sic] of coffee with me.Well, honestly, if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amoung [sic] to anything but one big bag of air. So whyd [sic] dont you meet up with some of the group, show us who you really are. Don’t worry, we had the same fears before but we overcame them and in the process our pre-set notions about each other disappeared and we became friends like lost kindred spirits we fell for each other’s compnay [sic] lokking [sic] for companionship and looking for salvation. I am not asking you to be my friend, but I am requesting you that should you care to criticize me, why dont you come out in the open and look me in the eye so you can have a clear look at your subject. It is more objective that way. Don’t you think so, but unless you do that, I am afraid that you will remain but one of those guys who kept on bashing in the dark, oblivious of the truth. hahahahah.

I am not being personal dude, just being passionate about how I truly feel of those who retain the anonymity of the web and yet crosses over the real world to snipe at real peop0le.

I hope you don’t take this in the wrong way and frankly i am not expecting you to show up anywhere near me, I just hope ur not the next guy on the tee with me hahah.

My, my, someone seems too overly sensitive about my opinion. The person who sent this email is a member of one of those Philippine adult-themed forums that are proliferating the internet. Perhaps it was the post on sharing PSPs or the post on sharing FUBUs that got him all riled up. It’s hilarious how people say that “it is not personal” but they make judgemental statements like “i hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public” and “if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amount to anything but one big bag of air.”

Anyway, like I would care….

Is it an act of cowardice if I choose not to attend any forum’s “eyeball” sessions or “meet-and-greet” gatherings?

Am I less credible if I don’t reveal my identity?

But I guess the more interesting question is: what’s wrong with anonymity?

Here’s the thing: personal information is exactly that–PERSONAL. It is my choice to divulge personal information, and I only do so if there is some value in revealing that information. In my younger, neophyte days, I was chastised by a colleague because I revealed where we both worked to a few ladies. “You didn’t have to give that info,” he said. “It’s a plus for them and a minus for you.”

A lot can go wrong if you divulge your personal information to a stranger. For one, that person can incessantly attempt to contact you. Even if the person means no harm, he or she may also lack some basic courtesy and call you at odd times. And it does become a bother—not to mention, an irritant—to whip out your cell phone, especially during an important meeting, only to find out that it is a call from someone not worth talking to.

So in some sense, people are correct in claiming that I am “hiding.” And it’s because I have something valuable to hide. You don’t flaunt your money out in public, do you?

And here’s another thing: if someone does not believe me based on the posts I write, then I don’t think revealing my identity will matter. If someone thinks that my insights are worthless or unbelievably incredible, I don’t think that the person will suddenly have a change of heart after seeing me. “Wow, he’s actually shorter and uglier than I thought, he must be telling the truth!” I don’t know about you, dear readers, but in a free and intelligent exchange of ideas, a person’s identity for me is not as important as the idea he is putting on the table. For me, it doesn’t matter if the person is rich, comes from a good school, is handsome, has a good job, has many friends. If I think his ideas are crap, then I will call his ideas crap. And if he insists that a face-to-face meeting will convince me that his ideas are worth something, then he is digging himself deeper. It is not the person. It is the idea that matters.

There are a couple of sites I regularly visit because I find their ideas thought-provoking. I do not know any of the writers personally. I have not met any of them. But I respect their ideas. I don’t necessarily agree with their insights, but I respect it nonetheless. And I have grown to admire them.

And finally, a lot of these adult-themed forums can be populated by people who are boorish, proletarian, juvenile, pseudo-intellectual and immature where one small and innocent move can initiate an entire controversy, if not something akin to a World War. I shun from those anonymous “meet-and-greets” for the plain reason that I don’t want my picture in some compromising situation plastered all over the internet.

I got this email a few days back:

I am paranoid because I think I have HIV. I had sex with a woman a month ago, and now I have a flu. I read in the internet that the first symptoms of HIV is similar to a flu. My question is, when you were young, was there a point in your life when you got paranoid? What did you do? And, did you ever have STD? Is it normal to have to if you have sex a lot? What did you do, and did you stop having sex with a lot of people? Thank you. I am 17 years old and very paranoid.

First of all, I have always been somewhat paranoid. I frequently imagine the worst case. And in a life of sex and pay-for-pleasure, one scenario that never fails to cause me dread is HIV. That is why I always bring and use a condom. I bring a condom when I meet an escort. I bring a condom when I go to a KTV.

When I am with a PSP, I refrain from any swapping of bodily fluids, which would mean no heavy kissing and no partying at the Y.

I also watch my health. Exercise for me is not just about improving and maintaining performance in bed, it’s the first defense against infections.

Hygiene is important to me. After the act, I always take a shower and I make sure that I throughly wash my privates. In a KTV, I always have those alcohol-laced tissues. A doctor-friend once advised me as well to pee after sex as the urine can flush out bacteria and other infectious agents.

My partner also has to be conscious of personal hygiene. If she isn’t, then alarm bells start ringing in my head. She has to look and smell clean.

And lastly, I have regular health checks.

As a result, I am in good health. I have no problems with blood pressure and cholesterol. And I never had an STD. I attribute this to good health, good hygiene, plus a good supply of condoms.

One needs to be in good health to enjoy and give good sex. Case in point: A recent rendezvous with a fubu proved to be a marathon session. She had just moved into a new condo unit and she wanted a proper “blessing.” She had ordered a few plates of Japanese sushi and, to my surprise, a bag-full of balut. I brought the Chilean Gato Negro and two goblets. I always like a touch of romance before the romp.The whole occasion was long-winded. It probably lasted for an hour and it involved multiple positions in multiple locations. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the lack of blood coursing through my brain (it was somewhere else, if you know what I mean), but I vaguely remember the sequence of events. I know we started in the bathroom where we showered together but things became hazy after that point. I know it entailed the kitchen table, the dresser, the couch, the wall and, of course, the bed. I remember stopping a number of times to regain control and delay the inevitable, but I also remember carrying her from point to point, shifting positions, her legs still wrapped around me, me still inside her. My partner is much taller than me and by no means a light-weight.As I lay on her bed the next morning, I took the time to review the subtle aches and pains I was feeling. I had stiffness in my traps, my triceps, and my hips. But aside from that I was ok. I am no longer a young man—white hair has begun to spring forth everywhere that hair springs forth—but I am glad that I made some effort to keep in shape. I haven’t been to the gym in several months— I made a mental note to sign up as soon as possible—but I did continue a basic exercise regiment, even at home.One need not go to a gym to be physically ready for sex. One does not even have to procure a set of weights or a multi-exercise apparatus. With just your body weight and a couple of cheap stuff, the comforts of your own home and of your own room should be adequate.If there is one exercise that is absolutely essential, it is the push-up. The reason I say this is because it mimics the missionary position, which I have found is the position that best gets my partner into an orgasm. So the longer you can support yourself with your arms, the better for you and your partner. Another reason why pushups are vaulable is because I realized that women, in the missionary position as well as in the girl-on-top position, like to hold a man’s chest. When I am on top of her, she runs her hand down my triceps and grips it tight during orgasms.Find push-ups boring? Too easy? Try elevating your legs atop a chair to shift more weight down to your torso. Or try doing it one-handed. Or try bringing your hands closer together.For more of my exercise routines, you can check out this post.

I know that motels are cracking down on child molestation and child prostitution. They don’t allow people wearing school uniforms to enter (so much for Cosplay). I have heard that they are also requiring IDs, though that still hasn’t happened to me. I guess it is because I have a car.

I posted this in my new blog and, through the comments section, I was surprised with another restriction. It appears that some motels don’t allow individuals to check-in alone.

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Some people don’t realize that you can actually be traced through your IP address. While this may not be critical if you are accessing sites in an internet café, it may be something of concern if you are using your broadband ISP at home.

Broadband ISPs, like Globe Innove and Smart, assign to you a unique IP address. In internet parlance, it is akin to your home address. When you access a site, when you leave a comment in a blog or engage in a discussion in a forum, your IP address is logged. If someone wants to do a trace, they can get this info and seek the assistance and cooperation of the ISP. For starters, check out this site, which can list your IP address, location, ISP, and ISP contact person.

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It can get intimidating. It’s tough enough calling a girl you don’t know. Now, you also have to handle the delicate hurdle of asking her to go to bed with you. You won’t score any points with the direct approach. “Hi, are you a prostitute? How much to have sex with you?”

So, how do you go about it?

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One of the most common urban legends is the two-way mirror inside motels. I have never come across a motel that has a two-way mirror, but if you prefer to be cautious about it, here’s one way to tell if it is indeed one (taken from Wikihow):

1. Observe how the mirror is installed. A normal mirror is hung against the wall, but an observation mirror is set into the wall. If the wall is behind the mirror, it’s probably a normal mirror.
2. Turn off the lights and hold a flashlight or even a small pen light to the mirror. If it is a two-way mirror, the room on the other side will be illuminated.
3. Press your eyes against the mirror and cup them with your hands, creating a dark “tunnel” to block out the light. When you do so, the light in the observation room will be brighter than the light on your side of the mirror, and you should be able to see something beyond the glass.
4. Tap on the surface of the mirror with your knuckle. A normal mirror will produce a dull sound because it is placed in front of a wall. A two-way mirror, however, will produce an open, hollow, and reverberating sound, because there is an open space on the other side.