I know a lot of men are just itching for that extra cash, and I know of some who are planning to indulge themselves with an expensive escort.

Before you do that, though, here is some financial advice: Settle all your other obligations before you yield to your vices. This means paying off your high-interest debts (including those astronomical credit card debts or personal loans), putting aside money for your family’s needs (like education), or adding up to your savings for your retirement, a new car, or a new house. There are many things to invest in before one splurges on paid companionship. If you are living in an apartment or you are commuting to work, you can put the money aside for a down payment.

I am already in the point of my life where many of my obligations are taken care of. But there are still a number of times that, after spending five-figures on a photo-shoot model, I felt a tinge of regret because I could have spent that money on something a bit more long-term. Or at least something that would last more than 3 hours. For example, I could have bought a new cell phone, or a new laptop, or a new stereo system for my car.

But, there is one other aspect that probably outweighs many of my materialistic wants. And it is the fact that we only live once. Some experiences would never repeat; some opportunities may never crop up again. I had once admitted to a handler that there are two celebrities that I wouldn’t mind spending the big bucks with. They were available once upon a time, and now they are not. I doubt if they will ever enter the trade again because they are both married with men far wealthier and far more good-looking than me.

And there are a couple of high-end escorts that have given me the best times of my life with experiences that, up to this very minute, still linger on in my memory.

In short, before you spend the big bucks on an escort, consider what you are also giving up. And if you do decide to spend the big bucks, milk the experience for whatever it’s worth and don’t look back with remorse.

I can understand the shameful side of it, but a number of escorts have accepted their situation and have gone beyond shame and embarrassment in a way that can be described as apathetic. Some have already reached a point where they realized the inherent monetary value of their sexuality. No longer do they look at themselves as dehumanized sex objects; now they realize that they can use their eroticism as leverage. Want to fuck me? Sure, but get in line; another guy will fuck me for more money.

But he is legendary for having “picked up” someone purporting to be a female, only to find out later, in the motel, that she was actually a he. The ongoing joke is that Tony’s biggest mistake was not that he picked up a man, but that he chose to tell the story to us.

When I think about it more and more, a more bizarre scenario begins to form in my imagination. For example, how did he discover his partner’s gender? And at what point in time? Normally, when you bring your partner inside a motel, all sorts of physical action takes place. Discovery of genitalia normally happens midway of the foreplay. There would normally be kissing, groping, pawing, sucking, licking. Undressing happens seductively. Sometimes even the “female” partner would commence some initial fellatio before removing “her” clothing. I’ve seen scenarios where a man inside a car would pick up a streetwalker and then, just a few meters after, would slam on the brakes and drop off (or, at times, visibly shove out) his would-be companion for the night. But inside a motel, the action would have already begun. And in fact, sometimes the action would begin inside the car even before the motel.

So how can you tell? There are, of course, the tell-tale signs. Bone structure. Throat. Size of wrist. Tone of voice. Sometimes, you can’t put your finger on it, but you just know that something doesn’t add up.

I had a recent trip to Thailand, where my team was treated to a show involving men playing women. It was held in a grand auditorium that looked more like a school stage than a sleazy bar. They danced gracefully. They lip-synced popular tunes. They even paraded in one-piece swimsuits. They had breasts. They had cleavages. Their skin was porcelain-smooth. They did not have that tell-tale lump. There was no visible bulge in their groin area. A friend of mine told me that there is some medication that can shrink and hide these physical manifestations. I swear that, unless you were actually told about their gender, you would hundred-percent mistake them as females.

“If you get an erection at this point,” I whispered to my colleague beside me, “does that make you gay?”

And especially with the advances in cosmetics and medicine, it is becoming more and more difficult to distinguish the real from the manufactured.

So what to do?

For one, I always let my instincts guide me. There are some who, through no fault of the girl, looks slightly male. I wouldn’t take that risk. If I even have an infinitesimal amount of doubt, I would rather not take the plunge. Besides, someone who looks even the slightest bit like a man is not my type.

In reality, the chance of discovering that she is a he is a risk that will always be present. Dealing with strangers is always a risk. There is the risk of disease. There is the risk of physical harm. All one can do is be prudent.

Let us say that you do discover that your companion for the night is—oh, the horror!—a man. Yes, you can probably blame the handler but, sometimes, they too may not be able to tell. Remember, some handlers do not “sample” their lineup. At best, inform your handler. And then check back on his lineup. If the she-male is still there, then there is something to be said about the handler. Time to drop that handler from your short list.

And then, most important of all, don’t tell your officemates.

It was clear that CFC has a slant against sex education. They probably believe that sex education promotes promiscuity. I have a different belief: sex education and promiscuity are not related in a cause-and-effect way. At least, not in the way CFC thinks. If there is ever a cause-and-effect relationship, it may be the other way—promiscuity may, in reality, require sex education. That we will all become aware of our sexuality and become sexually active is a given. Sex education is as natural and inevitable as toilet training.

Which leads me to the next question: If sex education is a given, then who is the best person to teach our youth? The knee-jerk reaction is that our parents should hold that responsibility. I tend to agree, except that these parents, lacking the necessary tools, may not be knowledgeable of the best teaching methods. They also may not have the time. We may all know basic math, but do we all know how to teach it? Do we know how to explain basic principles like the Law of Transitivity? Or demonstrate a keen understanding of Geometry? Do we know when a child is ready for two-digit multiplication? Or when a child is capable of understanding what two minus seven is?

Those who know me know that I am for sex education and family planning. I am for condoms. I am for responsible sexuality. So those who know me can already guess what I will answer.

But to those who may wish to debate and discuss and argue, here are the questions and my answers….

1. Do you agree that our children be given Sex Education for 7 years starting from grade 5?

Yes I do. What’s wrong with teaching our children on how babies are made? It does not have to be graphic erotica. A straight-forward, unemotional, objective, rational approach could be used. Children that age (if not earlier) are already conscious of their sexual organs. Why not explain what they are used for?

2. Do you agree that the Population Commission develop the modules to form our children’s attitudes, beliefs, and values about sex, sexual identity, sexual behavior, sexual health ad gender roles?

Yes I do. Bear in mind that, according to Section 3, letter n, the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM shall consist of the heads of the following agencies:

1. National Economic DevelopmentAuthority (VEDA)

2. Department of Health (DOH)

3. Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)

4. Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)

5. Department of Agriculture (DA)

6. Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG)

7. Department of Education (DepEd)

8. Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR)

9. Commission on Higher Education (CHED)

10. University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI)

11. Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAFI)

12. National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPQ)

13. National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)

14. National Youth Commission (NYC)

Plus, there shall be three private sector representatives to the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM who shall come from NGOs. There shall be one (1) representative each from women, youth and health sectors who have a proven track record of involvement in the promotion of reproductive health.

My main worry with this is that the group, with its size, could get unwieldy.

3. Do you agree that the Population Commission teach our children the distinction between facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

Definitely yes. But this question is a strange one. Is this question focusing on the POPCOM or on whether or not we should teach about facts and myths regarding sex and sexuality?

If it is the former, then is CFC questioning the capability of the POPCOM? Check the composition of POPCOM in my aforementioned answer. It may not be the best composition, but it represents a lot of sectors and should be more knowledgeable than, say, the Church or even a lot of poor parents who have not obtained a decent education.

If it is the latter, then is the CFC basically promoting ignorance?

4. Do you agree that our children be taught Sex Education as a class, notwithstanding the different stages and readiness each child has to receive such sensitive information?

Yes. The issue is not whether or not it should be taught as a group, but rather the quality of the teaching and communication materials. A team of child psychologists should be able to develop the appropriate materials.

5. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, be taught that it is their right to have a satisfying and “safe” sex life?

Yes. Reading through section 12, I don’t see that the bill is promoting a promiscuous lifestyle. What will be in the list of sex-education concepts include abstinence before marriage, hazards of abortion, responsible parenthood, and responsible sexuality. It appears to me that the bill is promoting choice rather than dogma. If a teen-ager wishes to remain a virgin until marriage, that is his or her choice.

6. Do you agree that our children, from 10 to their adolescent years, learn the use and application of family planning methods?

Yes. Some youths are already having sex as early as age 10.

7. Do you agree that our children’s moral and religious beliefs regarding sensitive issues like abortion be challenged and discussed in the classroom apart from the guidance of parents?

Yes. First of all, I don’t think the parents are left out in this process. Section 12 does specify that “in support of the natural, and primary right of parents in the rearing of the youth, the POPCOM shall provide concerned parents with adequate and relevant scientific materials on the age-appropriate topics and manner of teaching reproductive health education to their children.”

Second, I am of the opinion that beliefs should always be challenged and discussed. Religious beliefs are not exempt from discussion and debate. Take one example, albeit extreme just to emphasize a point, of a religion that advocates terrorism. Wouldn’t you make an effort to dissuade its flock? Or would you argue that we should respect their beliefs and remain silent?

If you disagree with my points, feel free to leave comments. I promise I will not resort to any ad hominem attacks.

And do those that claim PSE actually perform like a porn star? I know that porn stars perform a wide range of services–fisting and anal, for example–does that mean that PSPs who make such a claim will actually do these? Ok, maybe anal and fisting are a bit extreme (some however, may disagree, but please allow me that leeway), but what about facials and come-in-mouth?

Okay, in reality, I have (or, at least I think I had) experienced a PSE. I don’t think it has to do with the range of services; it’s in the way the PSP performs even the most basic sexual act. A GFE will be a more sweet, demure, conversational episode. A PSE will be more wanton and beastly.

Take the simple and trite missionary position: a PSP claiming GFE will probably give you sugary encouragement as you are mounting her. It is like enjoying fine wine with soft jazz piping through the speakers. A PSP with the PSE on her curriculum vitae will probably groan out all sorts of profanities, will stare at you with fiery hot passion, will purse her lips and bite her lips, and will show you a “come-and-fuck-me” expression on her face, akin to gulping down hard liquor with acid rock blaring.

While I am no lawyer, I have a range of comments on this Bill. And I have a wider range of comments on the people who are commenting against this Bill. But, for starters, let me get the abortion thing out of the way. There is no mention that the Bill explicitly supports abortion. And by abortion I mean the situation when a pregnant woman goes to some doctor to have her pregnancy terminated. You probably know the drill. Man and woman do the nasty. Woman’s period is delayed. Woman buys a pregnancy kit and conducts the test. Woman finds out that she’s pregnant. Woman goes to a doctor and asks for an abortion.

Let me make it clear. There is no mention that the Bill supports this kind of abortion. There is no mention of abortion clinics. No mention of doctors prescribing an abortion pill. None. Although it does not also explicitly condemn abortion, I believe that would be a moot topic since the Philippine Constitution in sec. 12, Art. II already includes the provision that the State should “protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.”

So what is the ruckus about?

Apparently a number of people have another definition of “abortion.” Jo Imbong from Inquirer argues this:

The zygote not yet in the mother’s womb is not protected. Pills and the IUD hinder implantation of the embryo in the uterus, thereby precipitating the embryo’s destruction. That is abortion.

Okay, that seems to be a logical argument. But family planning methods are not limited to pills and IUDs. There is my all-time favorite: condoms. Condoms prevent my little tadpoles from meeting up with the woman’s egg. No meeting. No zygote. No conception. No “abortion” by Imbong’s definition.

Unfortunately, Lagman included in his bill the support of “the full range of family planning methods both natural family planning and modem contraceptive methods (e.g., condoms, vaginal barrier methods, oral contraceptives, implants, intrauterine devices, male and female voluntary sterilization, and emergency contraception (EC).” One can argue that once the egg is fertilized, the child is conceived, so any instrument that prevents that fertilized egg to continue its natural course is abortion.

In my opinion, the Bill had grand ambitions but over-stepped its bounds. If Lagman stuck to condoms and vaginal barrier methods, I would think that, legally, he had a chance.

If you are lazy to read through the article, here are a few items that I found fascinating.

According to a 2002 study conducted at the University College London, there is no scientific support for the relationship between the shoe size and length of penis.

Researchers at University of Alberta found that body height and foot length were only “weakly” correlated with the size of their penis and that “height and foot size would not serve as practical estimators of penis length.” However, there are two studies (a 2001 Italian study, conducted among 3,300 young men; and a 2007 International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007 among 1,500 men) that found a correlation between height and penis dimensions.

And another: In 2002, a group of Greek researchers found that age and body characteristics were not associated with size of penis except for the “index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched penis.” Another study involving 1,500 men also found that found that length of index finger was significantly correlated with penis dimensions.

I wonder what is the financial comparison between charming a woman and paying a PSP to have sex with you. Charming a woman involves at least a drink plus several hours of conversation. Well, at least for me it will take several hours; I haven’t met anyone who can get a girl to go to bed with him in 30 minutes or less. My success in one-try pickups is dismally low, which means I have to call or SMS the girl a number of times. When I look back at my attempts, the sex typically happens after the third “date,” with each “date” consisting of a minimum of three bottles of beer between the both of us, sometimes six bottles of beer, plus the usual pica-pica. Then, when I am successful, it usually happens in the wee hours of the morning, like 2 am or 3 am, and I worry if I won’t be able to bring her to her doorstep, which means that there is the drive to her house. I stay in the Makati area and the worst situation that I had encountered was that I had to bring home a girl all the way to Bulacan.

Then there is the emotional baggage. Some women do get enamored and they begin calling you. Sometimes they call in most inopportune times. Somehow, the experience of swapping bodily fluids seem to make some women believe that they are beholden to you. Or that you are now beholden to them.

One reader gave one of the, if not the best reason on why I go to PSPs. I spend money not to be with them, but to make sure they leave after the deed is done.

Actually, there was another GRO that had caught my eye in the showroom. Her name was Winona but the GRM mentioned that Jam was better because Winona had only joined a few weeks ago and was still relatively shy and reserved. I wanted someone who would pamper me, paw all over me, and smother me with attention. Plus, of course, she had to be “game.”

And yes, Jam was “game.” But she was hardly the pampering type. The GRM probably advised her of my intentions, because 15 minutes after she sat down, she asked the question, point-blank: “So do you want to have sex?”

And that was a turn-off.

She reasoned that it was best to put things out in the open to make sure that there is no misunderstanding. And this I found strange because once a girl starts kissing me, touching me, sitting on my lap, and grinding her hips on my groin, and once my dick gets rock-hard, there is no mistaking my intentions.

“How much did Marie (the GRM) mention?” she asked.

I shrugged. “How much do you want?” I figured that she may quote a lesser amount. And if she quoted a higher amount, then I can tell her the amount that Marie quoted.

She held her palm up and spread her five fingers:P5,000. Which was the amount that Marie quoted.

But I refused. The cold, business-like approach did not sit well with me. I came to be pampered. I did not go there to engage in a formal business discussion. I finished my bottle of San Mig Light and promptly asked for the bill. I left her no tip. And I did not leave Marie any tip either. (more…)

I do not condone the fact though, that you have refused to be seed [sic] by anybody else. hahaha, are you afraid of being exposed for who you really are. Well as far as I am concerned, I hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public and be friends with them or even face me and share a cuy [sic] of coffee with me.Well, honestly, if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amoung [sic] to anything but one big bag of air. So whyd [sic] dont you meet up with some of the group, show us who you really are. Don’t worry, we had the same fears before but we overcame them and in the process our pre-set notions about each other disappeared and we became friends like lost kindred spirits we fell for each other’s compnay [sic] lokking [sic] for companionship and looking for salvation. I am not asking you to be my friend, but I am requesting you that should you care to criticize me, why dont you come out in the open and look me in the eye so you can have a clear look at your subject. It is more objective that way. Don’t you think so, but unless you do that, I am afraid that you will remain but one of those guys who kept on bashing in the dark, oblivious of the truth. hahahahah.

I am not being personal dude, just being passionate about how I truly feel of those who retain the anonymity of the web and yet crosses over the real world to snipe at real peop0le.

I hope you don’t take this in the wrong way and frankly i am not expecting you to show up anywhere near me, I just hope ur not the next guy on the tee with me hahah.

My, my, someone seems too overly sensitive about my opinion. The person who sent this email is a member of one of those Philippine adult-themed forums that are proliferating the internet. Perhaps it was the post on sharing PSPs or the post on sharing FUBUs that got him all riled up. It’s hilarious how people say that “it is not personal” but they make judgemental statements like “i hope one of these days you would have the courage to face your public” and “if some guy hides behind a computer keyboard, he will not amount to anything but one big bag of air.”

Anyway, like I would care….

Is it an act of cowardice if I choose not to attend any forum’s “eyeball” sessions or “meet-and-greet” gatherings?

Am I less credible if I don’t reveal my identity?

But I guess the more interesting question is: what’s wrong with anonymity?

Here’s the thing: personal information is exactly that–PERSONAL. It is my choice to divulge personal information, and I only do so if there is some value in revealing that information. In my younger, neophyte days, I was chastised by a colleague because I revealed where we both worked to a few ladies. “You didn’t have to give that info,” he said. “It’s a plus for them and a minus for you.”

A lot can go wrong if you divulge your personal information to a stranger. For one, that person can incessantly attempt to contact you. Even if the person means no harm, he or she may also lack some basic courtesy and call you at odd times. And it does become a bother—not to mention, an irritant—to whip out your cell phone, especially during an important meeting, only to find out that it is a call from someone not worth talking to.

So in some sense, people are correct in claiming that I am “hiding.” And it’s because I have something valuable to hide. You don’t flaunt your money out in public, do you?

And here’s another thing: if someone does not believe me based on the posts I write, then I don’t think revealing my identity will matter. If someone thinks that my insights are worthless or unbelievably incredible, I don’t think that the person will suddenly have a change of heart after seeing me. “Wow, he’s actually shorter and uglier than I thought, he must be telling the truth!” I don’t know about you, dear readers, but in a free and intelligent exchange of ideas, a person’s identity for me is not as important as the idea he is putting on the table. For me, it doesn’t matter if the person is rich, comes from a good school, is handsome, has a good job, has many friends. If I think his ideas are crap, then I will call his ideas crap. And if he insists that a face-to-face meeting will convince me that his ideas are worth something, then he is digging himself deeper. It is not the person. It is the idea that matters.

There are a couple of sites I regularly visit because I find their ideas thought-provoking. I do not know any of the writers personally. I have not met any of them. But I respect their ideas. I don’t necessarily agree with their insights, but I respect it nonetheless. And I have grown to admire them.

And finally, a lot of these adult-themed forums can be populated by people who are boorish, proletarian, juvenile, pseudo-intellectual and immature where one small and innocent move can initiate an entire controversy, if not something akin to a World War. I shun from those anonymous “meet-and-greets” for the plain reason that I don’t want my picture in some compromising situation plastered all over the internet.